First Five Pages October Workshop - Comeau

Name: Janel Comeau

Genre: Young Adult Sci-Fi

Title: The Girl Who Was Ordinary, Until She Wasn't

There was absolutely nothing special about Jane.

Jane Hale was as ordinary as could be, from her mouse-brown hair to the toes of her sensible shoes. She never took home an A+ from school, never scored the winning goal, never went to the big parties and never even tried to disobey her parents. Of course, her family was always there, from her not-so-terrible two’s, right up to her not-so-troublesome teenage years, reminding her of what a special little girl she was. Mr. and Mrs. Hale beamed and coaxed and fussed, and they always claimed to take pride in their daughter’s overwhelmingly dull life.

They lied.

For years, Mr. and Mrs. Hale fought off tears of boredom every time they thought about Jane. And so they tried desperately to change their daughter’s ways. They signed her up for music lessons (she played a mediocre piano), bought her exotic pets (she turned out to be allergic) and even enrolled her in private school (the addition of a school uniform had only made her more difficult to locate in a crowd). It was no use. Jane’s blandness defied them year after year.

But this year was going to be different.

Jane stood outside her bedroom at the top of the stairs, smoothing her clothes and trying her absolute best to not have a complete nervous breakdown. It was the morning of September 4th, and she was less than two hours away from starting her first day of tenth grade at the Louise Caroline All-Girl Academy. It’s just the first day of high school, she reminded herself. Millions of kids go through it, and hardly any of them get humiliated or maimed or exiled to the arctic. I can do this. Probably. Maybe. I guess.

It wasn’t much of a pep talk, but it was the best she could manage.

Jane straightened her pleated skirt for the thirty-second time that morning, took a deep breath, and started down the stairs toward the kitchen. Her mother was the first to notice her arrival.

“Oh, look, you’re awake and ready for school on time. That’s our predictable daughter!”

The Hales lived in a comfortable little house in a comfortable little suburb that boasted a comfortable little kitchen. Mrs. Hale stood by the stove in her comfortable satin bathrobe, flipping something that looked uncomfortably like a bright green pancake. Mr. Hale was already seated at the table with his round face buried in the folds of a newspaper; Jane quietly slipped into the chair beside his.          

“Ready for school?” he asked, turning his eyes back to a rather fascinating article about bank robberies.

“Yes.” she replied. Jane rarely offered up any more information than was necessary. Some girls her age might have gushed about the cute boys they were going to meet; others might have griped that eyeliner didn’t come in a shade dark enough to match their souls. Not Jane. Her mother fought back a sigh.

“Jane, darling, we need to have a word about your outfit,” Mrs. Hale said softly.

“Why?” Jane looked down at the crisp blouse and maroon blazer that made up the uniform of her new school, “This is what they told me to wear. Did I get a stain on it somewhere?”

“Oh, no, darling, don’t be silly; you’re not nearly exciting enough for that.” Mrs. Hale flipped off the stove and slid a green pancake onto Jane’s plate, “It’s just that we’ve transferred you to another school.”

Jane dropped her forkful of lawn-coloured breakfast. “What?”

“Yes, you’re enrolled in Snicket High School now. It’s a public school, dear. Oh, and you’ll be taking the bus there, I forgot to mention that.”

"But, why? Why didn’t you tell me?” Jane stared down at her plate; she couldn’t bring herself to meet her mother’s heavily made-up eyes.

“We wanted it to be a surprise, darling! You’ll have much more fun at public school than at some stuffy old private school.” Mrs. Hale explained.

This was a lie.

Jane’s parents believed that high school was a prime opportunity for personal growth, tacky haircuts and life-long emotional wounding. To that end, they’d quietly enrolled their daughter at Snicket High School, a large public institution across town that boasted the fifth worst test scores in the region. Snicket High was noisy, crowded and exactly 7.6 kilometres from the Hale home, ensuring that Jane would have to take the bus to and from school for maximum trauma.

Mr. and Mrs. Hale were pleased. Jane was not.

“But Mom, I’m not even dressed for… you didn’t even tell me… I have to go change!” Jane sprung up from her seat and turned for the stairs. Mrs. Hale grasped her wrist and gently pulled her back down into her seat.

“Oh, I don’t think you have time for that, dear. There’s a little something else that your father and I need to discuss with you.”

Now, the Hales weren’t foolish enough to think that public high school would solve all of their problems. Oh, no. Jane was a special kind of boring, and they knew that nothing less than drastic measures would be required to change that. They had an extra trick up their collective sleeves, and they’d decided to hold onto it until the last possible moment.

Whatever her parents had to say, Jane was almost certain she wouldn’t like it.

Look at me for a moment.”  Mrs. Hale continued, “You know your father and I have been very patient with you all these years. We’ve dedicated an unreasonable amount of time and money to solving your little problem.”

“Problem? Mom, I don’t have a problem. I’ve never failed a class, never been in trouble at school, never said yes to drugs–”

“Drugs! Oh, those would be a wonderful start, don’t you think?” Mrs. Hale actually clapped her hands.

“Drugs. Very good,” mumbled Mr. Hale from behind his paper, and turned the page to a rather fascinating article about kidnapping.

“You can’t be serious.” Jane gaped at her mother.

“Oh, but of course I’m serious! Do you remember the time we smuggled that hyena into the country for you? Or when we signed you up for crocodile wrestling lessons? Or that time we dyed your hair blue, dear?”
            

Jane shuddered. Oh, yes, she did remember.
            

“We didn’t do that for our benefit; it was all for your own good! We want what’s best for you, Jane. Look at your father and I – we made nothing but sensible decisions when we were your age, and look how bored and miserable we are! We want a better life for you, but if you aren’t willing to meet us halfway, I’m afraid that we may need to cut our losses and terminate this relationship altogether.”

Jane’s eyes went wide. “Wait, you’re firing me as a daughter? Can you even do that?”

“Oh, darling, with enough lawyers on your side, you can do anything. But we hope it doesn’t come to that. We’re not unreasonable people – we’re giving you one last chance to hold on to your place in this family. You just need to do something remarkable. It doesn’t matter what it is. Be creative. Impress us, Jane, and we’ll happily continue to acknowledge that you sprung from our loins."